Not one person identifies with just one singular thing. Everyone is multiple things, with multiple layers. Everyone has secrets, vendettas, and at least one favorite ice cream flavor (even if they can’t eat it). Violence against women isn’t necessarily about a particular race being targeted more, or because they look or act a certain way, even though it certainly may seem the case when seen in the newspapers. Violence against women isn’t just a raping and mugging in the street by an unknown assailant, or even a string of sexual abuse in a town; violence against women happens everywhere around the world, on and off the press, on and off the streets, and inside the home, by the very men they’ve chosen to love and cherish until death.
Intersectionality, a phrase used to express the multiple groups with which a woman identifies (i.e. mother, sister, musician, African-American, engineer); but in Crenshaw’s piece, it’s used more in a political respect, “The concept of political intersectionality highlights the fact that women of color are situated within at least two subordinate groups that frequently pursue conflicting political agendas.” (Crenshaw, 202)
Dorothy Allison was a woman born in the south, told over and over again that there are two kinds of women in the world, the beautiful ones or the working ones. Despite the separation, Dorothy discovers that neither set has it easy. Her sister, Anne and Dorothy grew up with a sexually abusive step-father, and Anne was walked out on by her boyfriend when she was pregnant at eighteen. “It took my sister two decades to tell me what it was really like being beautiful, about the hatred that trailed over her skin like honey melting on warm bread. My beautiful sister had been dogged by contempt just like her less beautiful sisters.” (Allison, 78)
I guess what I noticed most was the psychological trauma, after it was brought up by Helen Clarkson, ‘psychological trauma,’ and could actually recognize what was happening in Allison’s memoirs. (Clarkson, 614) I noticed how Allison brought up the differences between herself and how she recognized her family, her reactions to her relationships and sex.
A particular excerpt stuck out for me, a self-made intersectionality of Dorothy’s family, “The women of my family were measured, manlike, sexless, bearers of babies, burdens, contempt.” This version of the women Dorothy was brought up by, including Dorothy, herself, must shape a child. I think in a way, it did, as she spent her life examining and re-creating new versions of herself. She analyzed what happened, and she analyzes the differences between herself and other women. She understands she used women, she understands she was used by women and her stepfather. She reflects on these accounts and has to navigate her future based on her past. Dorothy recalls the men in her life, and issues accounts of uncles and cousins brutalizing women, and getting a sharp smile, with muscular arms, and a steely gaze. “Never look at themselves. Never think about what they’re doing to girls they’ve loved. Their girls.” (Allison, 36)
I really could relate to Dorothy Allison’s memoirs, though I wasn’t raped, I could understand hating yourself and your environment, trying to figure out the world, based on the experiences of the past.
This video is about a woman who was sexually abused as a child.
I have to say that I really enjoyed reading your post. I really liked how you connected that people have so many different layers, as does violence against women. I had never thought of it in a way that Dorothy’s sister was undergoing a different type of abuse--from her boyfriends. This is different then they way I was thinking about violence against women, which was much more one sided. I suppose that my post could be used to focus on what environmental, educational (etc.) aspects affect those layers.
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed that you reflected on why Allison talks about and shares these events of her life with the reader. In my post, I reflected on what different States and Country’s provide as resources for these women to get help. For Allison, writing and “story telling” is her resource. I also can relate to Allison, but I feel like it’s a scary thing sharing that information. Allison shows us, and you commented on, how important it is to talk about your past, no matter how painful, so that we can move forward. It’s important to point out this pioneering idea, as many people are expected to be perfect, and keep their problems to themselves. Still, her stories make me sad more than anything, that anyone has to endure that and, as you pointed out, its much more common than thought.
I believe it’s really important for individuals especially women to recognize that each person has their own struggle. We all go through different things that impact our lives significantly and it is not up to others to try to evaluate our experiences. In your post you talked about how Alison was born in the south and was repeatedly told that there were two types of women; beautiful and working-women. I think Alison initially equated being more beautiful with being better or even somewhat invincible. But everyone faces adversities that may have a tremendous impact on their self-esteem as well as their life outlook. Learning that people whom we admire have flaws is inversely a liberating experience for ourselves. It helps us to be more compassionate and understanding to people and their situations. And although some individuals struggles may not be as visible, we should not belittle the situation. It also teaches to value and cherish each other and lean on each other in times of sorrow.
ReplyDeleteI think this also connects with what we talked about in class, in how the media has certain standards for women that are unrealistic to attain for most. In the media, the message seems to be if you look like this then you’ll have a fulfilling and happy life, when that’s clearly not the reality. We all struggle with trying to acquire what is accepted and admired by most, but often times even when that is achieved an emptiness is felt inside.
There’s a quote from the song “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” by Lauryn Hill that I absolutely love and fits well.
“And every time I try to be what someone else thought of me..so caught up, I wasn’t able to achieve, but deep inside my heart, the answer it was in me & I made up my mind to define my own destiny.”
Here's the link to the full song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hvntSfvqGQ
I love this connection between Dorothy Allison's understanding of "beauty" and our discussion of Kilbourne. It was a connection I had not made, but it is right on and we can spend more time talking about this if you all are interested!
ReplyDeleteI also think that Emily brings up something to ponder and discuss: What does Dorothy Allison except from her readers? What is her intention? To make us sad? To prompt particular feelings? To make violence/incest public? All of these? None of these?